Let me start by saying the truth: I’m not SuperMom. I wanted to be, but it’s not realistic (for me at least).

Another truth: I hit the wall with being a stay at home mom around 5 months.

I was starting to get frustrated because there wasn’t a clear-cut, well-defined schedule for when I would get free time and a break from everything. It might be hard for some people to understand this, but everyone needs to recharge. I needed time away for myself and my sanity.

A happy Anne is a happy family!

Here’s what it came down to:

By not specifically setting times and boundaries, I would tend to let myself get sucked into helping out with my son, Felix, or just not getting that time away from everything to bring myself back to center.

Here are three more things that I feel are important:

1. Mom AND Dad both need to get regular exercise
2. Mom AND Dad both need a break
3. Mom AND Dad need ‘date nights’

Some people might be able to pull it off, but for most of us here it is: SuperMom OR SuperDad is something out of a comic book.

Here’s my self-revelation: I can’t do it all. Don’t try. I’ll burn myself out or get frustrated and frazzled. Are you pleasant to be around when you’re like that? I’m not.

As a “Type A”, I had a full plan of ALL of the chores that need to get done around the house. Seriously: I detailed everything. I listed different rooms of the house in zones and designated one or two zones each day of the week. I created a spreadsheet in Google Docs with everything – including several different sheets to handle the different types of information. I even went out of my way to set up calendar events!

For the first week, it worked great! But, as life happens, I just couldn’t keep that up every week.

The best part was that I honestly felt guilty because I wasn’t able to do it all. Seriously?

Solution: be realistic.

My first and most important job is to take care of my son. It’s great for me to have a plan for all of my household chores, what should be cleaned, when it should be cleaned… But I needed to be realistic about it. I’m still working part-time from home. When there’s a rush on a work task and Felix is napping, can I also get the daily chores done too?

In terms of house chores, I’m to the point where I’m happy if I get the laundry done every week, take care of the dishes on a semi-regular basis, and prepare dinner for myself and Michael.

Solution: talk to your significant other and create a plan.

Here’s a method that Michael and I developed:

1. Figure out times during the weekdays that one of us can work out.
2. Figure out who will be covering the overnight shift during weeknights
3. Divide the weekend:

• Take 4-5 hours for Saturday and 4-5 hours for Sunday and block them off for one person.
• Decide who gets which day.
• The parent who takes the weeknight overnight shifts SHOULD get one night of reprieve for a weekend night.
• Each parent should take one weekend morning.

As I’ve always suspected and have come to fully realize: parenting is hard work. If you’re unhappy with your situation, you need to speak out.

Silence serves no one. Silence will only bring frustration, anger, resentment… Bad stuff if you want a happy family and a happy life!